.....The Rolling Stones were the band who did for men's hairstyles what Marianne Faithfull did [allegedly] for Mars Bars - leading the public to contemplate their potential in new and exciting ways.

.....But what of their music? Well, amazingly, in the early 1960's nobody in Britain (or in America, apparently) had ever heard of the blues. But somehow - and even more amazingly still - this bunch of snotty-nosed, pseudo-working class English yobs got to hear about it. . .

....."Let's introduce it to a generation," suggested Brian (Jones, who used to be in them).

....."Yeah man, like, why not?" retorted Keith (Richard, who's still in them) around 10 minutes later.

.....Realising they needed someone to act as a mouthpiece they settled on an accountancy student from the London School of Economics. Mike met their stringent criteria exactly: skinny, arrogant, loud and yet possessing the kind of fascinatingly rugged yet entrancing good looks rarely if ever compared to the back of a London bus (something they used a lot whilst still saving up to buy a plane). Oh. . . and he could sing, in his own way. . . and also he was Keith's pal.

.....There's no doubt about it that Mick Jagger was a star, defining the very quintessence of the medium and setting the course of popular music to this day, with the lines on his and Keith Richards' faces bearing testimony to the years of toil and sacrifice that went into their art.

.....As to discography, well, they all hated school so let's talk about their records instead:

.....After being discovered at the top beatspot of the day, the Filly Gumbo Club in Richmond, they were invited by a guy who claimed to be a producer to make loads of hit records. So, they gave it a bash, and also went on TV a lot. Sadly their songs were all rubbish (although girls liked them) that is, up until the day when Keith's amp died on him during the recording of Satisfaction, in the process emitting a sound reminiscent of a 1950's radio broadcast of a swarm of 27 bumble bees lynching a wasp. Of course, with recording studios in those days you only got one take (and even that cost over £40,000) so it just had to do.

.....To their amazement, more people liked them after that than ever, and so this is the story of how guitarists the world over ended up with the now ubiquitous 'buzz box'.

.....Some time in the mid 60's a spot of friendly rivalry that had got up between them and the Beatles in a pub one night began to get out of hand. To settle the matter once and for all about who was the best, someone suggested a piano-smashing contest [a popular British pastime from the days before people realised what a bunch of complete asses they were]. However, to everyone's chagrin, before it really got going, several members of both groups inadvertently sat down and started playing the silly objects, which kind of knocked the edge off both their music from then on. When the pub-owner's daughter Angie asked John Lennon if he thought this might have any significance for the future he ceased tinkling the ivories, leaned over with a faraway look in his eye and said, "I wouldn't imagine..."

.....Another noteworthy glitch in their career was when in '69 some extremely bright spark had the really peace-and-love idea to (instead of paying somebody) get the Hell's Angels to police their gig in California. That pretty much signalled the end of peace and love - which the Stones had never really been that heavily into anyway, so its a fair cop.

.....For Mick, marriage to Bianca was to follow, but unfortunately he spoiled the 'wedding of the century' by spilling goats head soup all down the front of his lovely white suit. And also by getting divorced (a while later).

.....When asked by Melvyn Bragg in 1973 whether the band's innovative synthesis of frankly rightist propaganda and courageous left wing support for the underdog in our society was partly due to inner conflict generated by a deeply personal quest for a place of peace, an identity - in a sense an outright rejection of the prevailing zeitgeist - Mick replied in the profound and enduring words of contemporary English philosopher Dick Emery, "It's only rock and roll, but I like it".

.....In 1975 it came time again to replace their rhythm guitarist, so in order to prevent any more haemmoraging of personnel it was decided (since the technology was by now available) just to clone Keith Richard, call it Ron and dye the hair black to avoid confusion. This seemed to fix the problem.

.....As the '70's became the 80's and the 80's became the 90's and the 90's became the whatever-ties, the Rolling Stones are still going strong - they've even still got their own hair (or quite a lot of it) so you have to respect them for that. The Queen of England [+ Scotland etc.] certainly did, and Mick was finally honoured for lifetime services to the chewing gum industry with a knighthood in 2003. Keith just thought he was selling out. Surely not!

.....Having said all that, if pressed on whether I personally enjoy the groove their music gets into I guess I would have to say yes, I do. I like it.

"I like it. . . I like it. . . I like it. . . "